What does it take to be in the Closet?: A Response to a Blog (MGG)

Dear Randall and Significant Readers,

First off, your letter is very convincing and moving. I’m a relatively new reader of MGG. I, too, am in a struggle to define myself in a sexual/gender orientation aspect. My blog would define me as “a corporate royalty in one world and a slutty lost soul in another.” There is really a very thin line delineating homosexuality and heterosexuality. Thus, defining it in the strictest way is almost impossible. This wouldn’t arouse debate from different sectors if homosexuality and heterosexuality are clearly defined. To top it off, society may commit a blatant mistake by imposing cultural standards and discrimination against homosexuality.

Second off, while reading your letter I cannot help but comment on the points raised. Since this MGG blog site is indeed dedicated to discuss issues on gayness , then let us elevate this conversation to a higher degree by enriching and reaffirming our penchant for the life of the mind.

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  It is difficult to be OUT in the closet. It is not only you who struggles on one like this. Many, in fact. While reading many articles on homosexuality, the most common reason why they are afraid to be OUT boils down to reputation. Then I read further. Robert Greene said: “So much depends on reputation--- Guard it with your life.” Why? Reading further again uncovered, “Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone, you can intimidate and win; once it slips, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.” This is sad but true. If so much of your life depends on reputation, you will always do everything to guard it. If I remembered it correctly, a blogger here is a closeted military guy. He is in the rank. It would be very difficult for him because society frowns on gay military.
  
  
  

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  Successful gays are hailed and respected. Whilst they are given due respect, they also had an equal share of discriminatory experience. Yes, it is indeed very difficult to just say, I AM HOMOSEXUAL. PERIOD. Society is in itself discriminatory. And whether we like it or not, we will always be judged as bad or good, ugly or beautiful, gay or manly, homosexual or heterosexual, and so on. That is how it was and how it is. But who knows, maybe it will not be how it will be forever. Remember, women before were regarded as second class citizens and were not granted the right of suffrage. But this has now changed, quite a bit. So there is still hope. Nothing is really over until the moment we stopped trying. Just recently, the party-list Ladlad has been disqualified by the Comelec on many grounds. See what I mean?
  
  
  
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  On your question: “Will everyone achieve the capacity of real understanding? Of broad-mindedness?” No. The predisposed idea will always linger. Now majority, but maybe soon minority. How is this difficult? Because homosexuality is also an issue of morality. Now again, a very fragile concept that will trigger an age-long debate. But then, we can’t really say for sure. As always, it is always every generation’s dream to build a better life for the one’s to follow. And it is our task to craft a way towards that direction, for every generation sets its own and lives by its successes and failures. Ours maybe a generation of discrimination; but the future, we don’t know still. That is why we have to make our stand. You, what do you stand for? And what have to done to live up to it?
  
  
  

Finally, Migs had said it very clearly-- I wonder though, are you aware that there is this one very important person, more than anyone else, who should be admiring you, respecting you? That person is yourself. All these external achievements — what do they mean, if you yourself don’t learn to love the real person who’s responsible for them? How come people love you, yet you seem not to be able to give yourself that same love?

However, a clear paradox lingers: while it makes sense that the most important “person” to satisfy is no other but our SELF, it is also true that this satisfaction greatly depends on the reinvention of one’s self as a member of a collective in-making called family, community, nation, and society. Without meaning to contribute to the constant refrain, let me just say there is no point in developing a sense of humanity that connects you only to family, friends and classmates and not to groups of people, communities, or country. The sense of belonging to a collective larger than ourselves, our families, our immediate circle of friends and colleagues is fundamental to our humanity. The most significant human successes have been those born out of collective action and here I speak both as a professor of history and a Filipino. What meaning would personal success have if all around you people live less than human beings? Indeed, what kind of humanity is it that selects the individuals one can relate to and deliberately disregards the humanness of others outside one’s particular circle of choice?

How I long for the day when I can read age-old passages and say with utmost confidence, “How better, how infinitely better our situation is today than in the past!”

After all, it takes acceptance to stay happy and fulfilled.

Our generation is in the face of brisk changes in a world that is still unequal, and in many ways painfully unfair.

May peace dwell in our hearts forever and even more than ever!

For comments and clarifications, you can also email me at henry.prince1234@gmail.com

---Prince Henry

Here is a link to Randall's post: http://manilagayguy.net/2010/01/03/it-feels-like-dying-every-time-you-hide/